Female problems reaching orgasm?

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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby susana » Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:00 pm

hi, and i am glad i fould this question, though i seem to have the opposite problem. for 3 months before i had any symptoms of tm i just stopped being able to reach orgasm, (after 30yrs of no problems at all with my husband). i had the build up but just could not go 'over the top'. not long after diagnosis the problem went away and was all back to normal. i have had symptoms of tm since november 09. over the past couple of weeks it is though i am now hyper sensitive down there though which is equally irritating. the feeling goes from inside my stomach just about my tummy button down to my clitoris, anyone have any thoughts on this? :ymblushing:
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby ziggy » Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:46 pm

Susanna said on April 18, 2010
"over the past couple of weeks it is though i am now hyper sensitive down there though which is equally irritating. the feeling goes from inside my stomach just about my tummy button down to my clitoris, anyone have any thoughts on this?"

Don't know if this is helpful, but I do remember when I first got TM. One of the symptoms was that large areas of my body were hypersensitive to touch. I couldn't stand for my clothes or anything to touch my skin. It gradually went away--except for sometimes stilll in patchy areas, but it took quite a while.
Maybe this is similar to your hypersensitivity...and hopefully for you too, it will gradually decrease.
Haven't checked with this thread since I first posted; it helps to know that I am not alone here....and BTW things still haven't improved--in fact I am now getting vaginal and bladder infections on top of no desire and the inability to have orgasms. So it hasn't made (real) sex more likely than before. We are still stuck at the snuggle and he-gets-a-hand-job level of lovemaking....
I think what bothers me the most about it (besides feeling like I have lost something important) is the guilt I feel about being a "bad" sex partner. I know it's not my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. My partner tries to be patient but I am sooo aware of how much he wants something that is no longer comfortable or fun for me.....I am not sure how we will work this out. But at least we keep talking about it. Maybe we will keep talking until he is old enough to lose some of his very strong sex drive!
On his worst days he lets me know how cheated he feels, but mostly I have to say he is exceptionally understanding about it and that I am really lucky in that way. He is the same way about stuff around the house. Every once in a while he loses patience, but mostly, even though he works outside the house and I don't, he still insists on doing the major part of the vacuuming and doesn''t complain that I can't do all the heavy work that I used to...like yardwork, fencebuilding, repairs, lifting, or that the house doesn't look as spiffy as it used to all the time, or even that I don't always feel like going for a walk or to see friends, or grocery shopping--I couldn't have a better partner. He even cooks dinner most of the time. How about that!
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby marieblond » Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:44 am

sex is nice but not all in life. we are in the fifties and the men become more silent in this age. I want to say: a lot of them. so we have the "arrangement" of seldom-sex. but if it takes place it becomes better now 2 yrs after onset. despite my bottom is the most numb zone remained...

to decribe: When I walk I have the feeling to be a sceletton without a living bally. yes so it feels - often I test if my trousers sit there in the right place.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby Shirley » Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:07 pm

Marie, you made me smile when I read your post. You are right, sex is different now we are in our 50's. I wish my husband would slow down with sex, certain medications in middle age can have an effect on the sex drive, especially with men. B/P and certain heart medications can change things.
Anyway, we must be thankful for what we have..I am.

:)
Keep well



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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby marieblond » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:37 am

so it is. my grandchildren come now. my life is not over! it changes. who definites him-herself only over sex, he/she is an animal - -- it is my definition.

without sex is s_
only sex is s_ as well. B-)
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby RosieLee » Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:14 pm

Hello all I am new here. I have only just been diagnosed with TM at C7 and I lack full sensation down there. I found sex with my first and oly partner of three years extremely frustrating because I didn't know why I wasn't responding. On the occasions when I did orgasm after a lot of hard work (by this point my partner did not find the sex enjoyable just from the physical exertion) it would be extremely intense and then be extremely painful a split second into it. It really affects my self esteem because I still have the desire for sex but given that I am not with my partner any more plus bladder and bowel issues I am reluctant to get intimate with anyone.

Does anyone else feel like they could loose control of their bladder and bowels during sex or is it just me? I felt really uncomfortable when my ex partner was making love to me and I would have to dash to the loo. If I literally hadn't gotten to the loo when I had it could have an extremely unpleasant experience. I tried to make sure that I had gone to the loo before having sex and showered but sex would stimulate my bowels and bladder and I haven't had very good sphincter control for a long time.

Also my partner didn't like the fact that I kind of had to plan when we were going to have sex but they really didn't understand. I tried to tell them about my bladder and bowel issues and they just said it wouldn't happen but trust me if they had delayed me getting to the loo at any point they would have been well and truly aware that it most certainly would have!

From not having a diagnosis and not knowing any different at the time I ended my relationship. Sex made me so angry because I was by and large left unable to reach orgasm, when I did it hurt and because I very often had to stop it as soon as I felt like I was either going to wet myself or otherwise. I would dash to the loo and sometimes I would leak from either my bladder or bowel somewhere between getting from the bedroom to the bathroom next door. I was absolutely horrified.

Getting my diagnosis explains an awful lot but I am finding it very difficult to talk to people that understand the condition.

I want to have sex of course I do. I want it to be as passionate and as energetic as my hormones are and I am finding it extremely difficult because even if I wanted to I can't. My bladder and bowels don't feel full and yet they continue to leak!
Neuropsychiatric SLE, Transverse Myelitis (C7)
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby Shirley » Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:43 pm

Hello Rosielee, You have come to the right place, you are not alone in this. The orgasm is elusive with TM, both boys and girls are suffering. The penetration stimulates the bowel by the movement of your partner, the vagina being the middle orifice this was always going to happen. It was about 1yr after my onset of TM that I did finally orgasm, it feels different, and to my horror, I leaked urine. I'm 8yrs done the track and it still happens to this day. My husband is understanding, so I protect the bed sheets with a dri blanket and all is well. It is going to take time to recover, you have suffered a massive injury to you spinal cord.
The most important things for you to do in this early stage is: Rest when you feel so fatigued, PT when your appointment time comes around, set small achievable goals, I think sex comes last, don't worry about it at this stage, you'll feel better as time moves on.
Of course you want sex, but don't sweat the small stuff. Get your health back on track.

Take Care and ask loads of question, we are here to support you.

:ymhug:
Keep well



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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby RosieLee » Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:23 pm

Hi Shirley,

It's just so complicated because I have TM secondary to neuropsychiatric lupus. I'm not sure which one they found by accident but either way it just explains an awful lot.

I plan to stick around on here until at least I feel I have learnt enough about my condition but info on lupus with TM seems a bit thin on the ground.

Thanks for your reply Shirley
Neuropsychiatric SLE, Transverse Myelitis (C7)
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby Shirley » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:20 pm

I don't anything about the Neuro Lupus, have you googled it? Mind you prior to having TM, I hadn't of that either, and me a nurse for 30 odd years.
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby hannahwilliams » Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:06 am

im glad im not the only one, ive just lost interest in sex, i think because i have gained so much weight, and im still not mobile, i just dont feel sexy at all, i do explain to my partner, but its frustrating for him too i think, i know its early days but i think we need help.
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Re: Female problems reaching orgasm?

Postby OnGodspath » Wed Oct 31, 2012 3:07 pm

Thank goodness we were left this one pleasure in life considering all the rest we have to deal with. :)

Do not fear, for I am with you,....... I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;........ Isaiah 41:10


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